Ok, not really. But Danger Room is famous, and they linked over here, so we're getting pretty good play this afternoon. Noah Shachtman emailed me a couple of weeks ago, right after I'd inaugurated the "Learn to Speak Pentagon" series, and asked if I would write a "Pentagonese primer" for them. So I kicked around a few ideas and threw something together... and then Egypt happened, and the defense blogosphere's attention justifiably shifted elsewhere. In the meantime, I've held off on Lesson 3 until Danger Room had a chance to run the piece, but it's up now and I don't want you guys to think I've abandoned the theme.
Go read: "Pentagonese: A Primer"
I went through two versions of this to hone in on the sort of thing Noah was looking for, so here's the stuff he didn't use as a kind of bonus DVD.
- “We have to reschedule the VTC next month – the general’s going downrange.”
- “No sir, we, uh, we don’t have enough fidelity on that to give you a good answer at this time” or “we need to get a bit more granularity on the resources piece before we can move out on this.”
- “We can dominate the kinetic fight, but if we can’t protect the people, we’ll lose.”
- “We need to work up some metrics so we can show the Boss we’re doing something out here. Can’t you get me a number for the hearts and minds we’ve won, or something?”
- “All those recommendations you made are OBE, man – didn’t you read the paper this morning?”
- “I don’t want to hold up the group, so me and Colonel Jones can talk offline.”
- “I’m just a dumb infantry guy, so this is out of my lane, but if you ask me we ought to be getting out in front of this Egypt thing.”
- “This thing is sensitive on the Hill, so before we announce anything we’ve got to sit down and think about the optics.”
- “We’ve got a few outstanding media requests on this, so I need to you to go ahead and scratch the itch and put this one to bed.”
- “If you want to get a look at TTPs and best practices for end-running Congress on budgets, pay attention to what the SECDEF’s been up to.”
** We don't actually have t-shirts.
UPDATE: Wave to the Mother Jones readers, too. Adam Weinsten linked over here in a post highlighting the most hilariously awesome command information video of all time -- so rife with jargon that I was actually laughing within the first 30 seconds. Seriously, go watch it. It'll make your day.